hellsmaw18's News

It's been a fairly long time!

2014-02-22 06:20:09 by hellsmaw18

I haven't realized how long it's been since I posted on here. A lot has happened since then and being able to look back and to see where I am today, it's awesome.

So I actually stepped out of the hater realm of the brony fandom and became a brony myself. Despite what anypony says badly about the bronies and pegasisters out there, I tend not to let them get to me. It was honestly the best move I made to actually better my life. Since after my divorce and several other failed relationships because of abusive women (yeah ladies, not all of us guys are to blame), I became bitter and hateful towards everything, but after some awesome ponies got me in to watching the show, seeing all the fan art, listening to the fan made music, and generally getting to know other bronies and pegasisters, it changed me for the better. It also has helped me strengthen my my Wiccan/Buddhist faith to be kinder to others no matter how cruel others may be.

College has not been going easy, however. The first college I went to was forced to drop all financial aid so I had to leave that school even though I was avaraging a astounding 94% (higher grades than high school!) and was very happy with that school in general, The second college I went to, I got fucked over by 1 teacher who FAILED to apply mine and many other peoples grades in, so I was booted from that school. The last college I went to had a really nice start, yet semesters 2 and 3 were filled with nothing but instructors who did not give a SHIT about trying to help somepony that needed it, they changed things so much or plain out made things confusing. For 2 straight semesters, I took the same classes only to have the same result. Honestly, why the FUCK don't colleges listen to students when we go to them for complaints against the instructors who fail to teach us the material that we are supposed to learn and fail to help us in a timely manner when the help is requested. I feel bad that others that I had previous class with had to take the same class over because of the same result that I also had to deal with. Hopefully the next college I go to will be far better...

I have been messing with music again, however my laptops main hard drive started making funny noises and I ultimately lost any samples that I was making.

To those that read this post, I wish you the best and much good luck!


yay

2011-11-12 15:13:55 by hellsmaw18

ok, so, since my last depressing post... yes, im in the middle of a divorce with her and im doing a hell of a lot better. i might not be on ng much but thats partially due to college and perfectworld international dominating all my time. but things have gotten better for me and truly happy about that. other than that, nothing really new


i am at a severe loss...

2010-08-22 17:56:48 by hellsmaw18

I have a feeling that my wife is going to want a divorce and we have only been together for 10 months. I pray to God that she doesn't want a divorce, and I pray to God that everything will turn out the best. I don't know what to think and I don't know what to say. I'm not suicidal or anything, but this hurts a hell of a lot.


good times, bad times

2009-09-30 05:03:10 by hellsmaw18

well, my wedding is nearing quickly, nov 7th of this year, im in college for electronics, have no car, lost my apartment but the dumbass landlord has tenants in there that will prolly take him to court if he doesnt take care of the place, living with my fiances parents again... eh, not what i wanted, but itll do for now..


some changes...

2009-06-05 05:59:24 by hellsmaw18

well, yeah, i did get evicted only because my loser for a landlord did not want anyone to go into his apartments to do inspections and im back up with my fiances parents for a short time hopefully. everything is gong pretty well. her brother and i were burning some of my old electrolytic capacitors in a trash burn barrel last night, (hey, cheap fireworks/explosions that way XD) and that was entertaining for a while. im still unfortunately looking for a job but unemployment in ohio is anywhere from 7 to 11 percent right now and really unfortunately my area is the most impacted. its even sad that mc donalds is NOT accepting applications. they turned me away when i walked in and asked for an app. they didnt hand me one and said sorry, were not looking or accepting any. not even the local heavy duty factories arnt. hopefully i can get back into college and get a degree in computers. ill try and get a camera and post some pix of my new rig that im runnin. i wish all you guys luck who are trying so hard to get a job!


its tough but oh well

2009-05-14 10:45:09 by hellsmaw18

since my job loss in november, things havent been the best, fighting bills and my lousy landlord, trying to get my dynasty to work and what not. just gotta break through all this and make my way through.


very good update!

2009-01-12 03:18:23 by hellsmaw18

well, everything is great. i kicked out my roommates finally, even though they tried to break in while i was away. my cousin has moved in and is helping with the bills while im still looking for a job. i have a new computer desk that has a lot of space, and a new video card in my HP computer. unfortunately, looking for a job in my area has failed, except for one thing, truck drivers. yes, i am going to save some money and obtain a Commercial Drivers License to become a truck driver. i will settle for any kind of truck for now but i would love to have a International 9900 Customized the way i like... with a shitload of lights :D. i went out on the road with a great friend of mine since he is a truck driver and i loved being out on the open road and seeing the world in all its currently miserable glory. truck drivers are nice to you as long as your nice to them. i had a lot of truckers wave at me and i waved back. even got on the cb radio and talked to them. no one knows true freedom until they take a 7 day trip out on the highways to get away from it all. its absolutely wonderful. a few notes for yall though, if a truck driver wants to get in front of you and they have the clearance, just turn your lights on and off, dont ever flash your brights on them as you would hate it when someone flashes thier brights at you, expecially at night. if you get on the cb to try to find a certain route, just ask them where it is and they will help you. they know their routes very well and say thank you and they will reply. like i said, if your nice to a truck driver, they will be nice to you.

Updated System Specs!
Case: HP Pavilion A345W
Motherboard: Asus P4G533-LA
Processor: Intel Pentium 4 2600+
Ethernet: Realtek 10/100
Audio: Creative Labs Sound Blaster Audigy SE 7.1 Advanced HD 24 bit
Video: Visiontek ATI Radeon 9250 128 MB internal DVI/VGA/S-Video
Misc: Belkin USB 2.0 5 port
Storage: Drive 0 Western Digital 80 GB HDD with SMART, Drive 1 Western Digital 40 GB HDD with SMART, Drive 2 Lite-On CD-R/RW/DVD ROM, Drive 3 Seagate STT20000A Tape Drive
Memory: 767 MB Total


eviction/disrespect/others

2008-07-23 01:45:08 by hellsmaw18

EVICTION!
well, its been 2 months now and the landlords decided to put a for sale sign on the house. i have to be out by August 11th of 2008 and will lose internet for a short time. this comes as a tragedy to me as the landlords have no respect for me at all and only give a damn about themselves and no one elses. before i moved in, they have said that they painted when that is a clear lie and said that they would come back to fix some things is also a clear lie. they have talked behind my back asking my roommate if i am mentally slow or retarded meaning more disrepect to me than before. i knew i couldnt trust the old fuckers and now they have drawn the line to lawsuit and possible jail time and loss of property to themselves. they are screwed if they dont give me back my deposit.

DISRESPECT!
as noted about the landlords that they have disrespected me, a new female co-worker has done drawn and crossed a line with me and is looking at possible termination because of her verbal harassment actions against me as well with other stuff with the bitch that can get her and another co-worker fired because of their actions at work.

THE CUTLASS!
by big blue girl is doing fine, just needing to get some transmission fluid for it so i can start to drive her again. shes been sitting over at one of my friends houses to get the repair done and i just need the fluid so we can start with her.

THE ROOMMATE!
him and his girl are getting close to getting kicked out if they dont start taking care of shit that they do here. fuckin leaving food lay around, open cans of pop all over, not putting shit away and tons of other shit is pissing me off to the point that they wont be around much longer if they keep it up.

PRIVACY AND THE FEDS!!!
talk about disrespect in the first degree. forcing companies to give them personal information about thier users and so on is pissing tons of people off that even go by the law. whatever happened to the amendments?? all they are doing is taking away our freedoms that were given to us by our four fathers in the beginning of the USA's life!! there is no democracy anymore with all these damn piece of shit republicans trying to take over the world and good for nothing democrats not doing a damn thing to stop the republicans! when will America become free of high gas prices, ultra high unemployment rates, our military fighters and civilians being out on the streets because of these hipocritical slum running banks, and be free to do what we want to again without purgery and discrimination by our so called "leaders"? my fellows over at axisofjustice.org are fed up with the way that the government is treating us and actively take a stand to fight for whats right in this world!
in closing, i suggest that everyone who reads this go over to youtube and watch red sector a by rush. how common...


no music for a while/new home

2008-06-22 18:55:48 by hellsmaw18

well, i have decided on to not make music for a while. i am busy with the job i have and i have no time to do anything. since i have my own house now, i have rent and other utility bills that i have to do before i can do anything with music. im just starting out on my own and need to save as much money as i possibly can so i can keep everything that i have.


New Music???

2008-03-27 04:02:14 by hellsmaw18

well, id love to make new music, but my time is very narrow and it doesnt help that i dont have my computer to compose with. right now im just taking a little time off to get a decent job atleast. besides, the midi controller i am wanting to purchase will cost me atleast 400 dollars, and i really should start making my own instead of using loops all the time. i know ill make another song when i get my computer back using some of my current loops and new ones if i can find them, but in the mean time, looking for a job is more important than anything right now. ill try and dig up some stuff when i get a chance, but i cant make any promises that i will make anything in the next several months. the reason why i dont have my computer is because i am working on a friends computer and im letting him borrow mine for a while till he gets a new one. so in the mean time, i just spend time in the audio forums, playing my various pinball games on here, looking for work, and other stuff. i know the last stuff i submitted was crap in some peoples opinions, but hey, i was rushing it and wanted to try some trance instead of techno all the time. ill try and put up a new one sometime, cant say when, but ill atleast try. have hope in me and pray that i can get a job and maybe ill bust out something better than before. thanks :)